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My birth name is not Ian Sala. I use this alias to protect my identity and to respect the privacy of my own family. I am the son of a narcissistic and borderline mother. It took me 43 years to realise that my mother - whom I thought was uniquely special - was in fact suffering from a rather widespread mental illness. This realisation helped me understand much of her behaviour and it kick started my journey of recovery. As I write these lines, I am still in the process of dealing with my feelings of pain, anger, shame and sadness. I will not pretend that I am out of the woods or that I can show the way out. But I am here to share with you my experience and the product of my research. I've started this site for sons of borderline mothers because I couldn't find anything specifically for us and by us. And when I did find mentions of sons of BMs, I often thought they were inaccurate and sometimes abusive.

This site is here to serve the truth, for everyone. My aim is to be guided by compassion, generosity and tolerance. These qualities were missing in our childhoods and adolescences. And these qualities can help us out of the dark hole of anger, sadness and isolation.

If you can, please share your own experience and give your own insight. Like me, you may choose to remain anonymous and use an alias. Together, we can turn this site into a valuable resource for children of borderline mothers and help the healing of wounds that come with this difficult life predicament.

I am not a therapist, psychologist or any kind of authority on the subject of BPD. I am simply a man who has the experience of being the son of a BPD and who wants to connect with and learn from others with a similar experience. I believe that, while abusive mothers divide to rule, victims of BPD parents can take back the controls by uniting. Together we are stronger. Freedom is around the corner.

Good luck to us,

Ian Sala, May 13, 2014





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